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Steve Harrington ([personal profile] hairspraying) wrote2022-07-23 12:44 am

( dup ) contact post



text . call . video . action
notscary: (aching)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-03 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie follows, watching as Steve goes to the fridge, stepping toward the stove and looking at the meat there with slightly wider eyes than what's called for. But, he goes to work, having something to do with his hands a good distraction. He steals glances over the counter, eyeing the bowl, gaze flicking to the beer, fingers flicking once he's set the steak onto heat. Really, the sizzling could've kept his attention for a good while until an acrid smell of burning might've entered his nose, but Steve's voice pulls him back to reality.

His face and eyes snap back to meet his friend's eyes, knowing he must look wholly out of it, and he steps away from the stove to grab a can of beer. A fingernail fiddles with the tab, not opening it yet, as he slides into a dining room chair. ]
Yeah, I dunno man. [ He taps the can. ] This place is pretty fucked. [ His voice comes out squeakier, more desperate, so he finally snaps the tab back to open his beer, bringing the can up to his lips and chugging a good half of it down.

When he lowers it, he breathes out raggedly, setting the can down on the table, but fingers remaining clasped around it. ]
Haven't had nightmares like this since... [ his shoulders shake with a pained shake of his head ] shit, maybe ever. [ He knows it's nothing short of miraculous that he hasn't been plagued by nightmares of Chrissy, of the Upside Down, but he's taken that with a quiet gratitude. ]

But. Look -- [ he stops himself, blinking and staring down into his lap before his face straightens again, eyes shut for his first few words. ] I don't know what all has happened to you here, but my past week, few days, haven't been the rollercoaster of debauchery that I was kinda promised when I got here. It's been... [ a pause, his throat feeling like it might close up ] great until it wasn't? And, that's... [ he knows he's not giving the details, that Steve could only guess at what he's getting at. So, with a surge of courage and the knowledge that he really does believe in Steve wanting to help him, he makes a pained sound, exasperated, palm rising to shield his eyes. ]

I turned into this...sex demon, monster, thing and went to the woods, and my...I made it back, and it hasn't popped up again, but now I'm having these nightmares about it, about home, Chrissy, Dustin, and I... [ it all came out in a quick tumble, and his hand only shifts to cover more of his face, tears stinging at his eyes. ]
notscary: (fright)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-06 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ What do you do when you've turned into a incubus, absolutely fucked and magically drained a number of people out in the woods, once you're back to normal? He didn't even get all their names, he's not sure he'd remember if he tried to. Send out a network-wide apology? He knows he didn't have control, but Eddie doesn't have coping skills to navigate guilt or shame in an effective way. It's dragging him down, but at least he came out and told Steve that it had happened, no intentions to give any other details.

The focus rests on what they can mutually understand, what they might hope to trudge through together. Eddie keeps his hand over his face as Steve speaks, reveals what all he's seen. He feels like he can't breathe again when he says Chrissy, breath pitching and panic setting in.

He can hear Steve as he's busied around in the kitchen, can smell the meat cooking, but he has no appetite or inclination to even reference the food. Instead, he just nods with 'Max,' fingers folding and wiping across his eyes to the bridge of his nose in exasperation (but an attempt to wipe away the tears that have settled in his eyes, too.) He's left looking as torn down as he is with recalling the Upside Down, heart pounding as he lifts the beer back to his mouth, finishing it off and setting the can down. His fingers push against aluminum just so, not crushing, but needing something tactile to do. ]


None of those kids deserve that shit. [ True, but said to fill the space as he thinks of Max. A kid that doesn't put up with shit, strong of will and heart.

He stares away from Steve, settling on the fridge. Several seconds pass before he speaks, voice strained. ]
I can't sleep now. I just...keep waking up and... [ his head shakes, eyes shutting for a second, eyes shining. ] It's, like, the worst day of my life just on repeat over and over again, and... [ if only he could just keep on compartmentalizing, but the city's seen to it that he's facing these memories one way or another.

His head turns, lowering toward his shoulder, hand rising again to rest over his brow, eyes shutting. He wills tears to hold back, but the emotion surges out of him to a breaking point. A sound of discomfort, pain, rattles out of him, shoulders shaking in a bit of a laugh to try to cover. ]
Mind games for...fun, here. You... [ he swallows, the sound pronounced and pointed ] really...wish you didn't see it, Steve.

[ He wishes no one had to, that Vecna remained only a creature of fiction. A terrible and powerful being only in the stories he fashioned. But for the moment, as his face becomes streaked with tears, he tries to focus on how it's affecting Steve rather than himself. ]
notscary: (unhappy)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-08 07:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie draws small circles on the floor with one foot, nodding heavily when Steve clarifies. He wipes a hand across his face, chest tightening in something like pain when he hears that he's all Steve thought of after the other man had had the nightmares. Then, Chrissy is mentioned again, and he stifles down a hard swallow that cuts into his throat like glass.

Eddie's face can't settle on one emotion when that offer is made, ranging from wider eyes to consideration and back to a tiredness that, if someone didn't know better, they might think is neutrality. His eyes shut after a moment as he forces himself to finally breathe, trying to settle the nerves.

He's nodding before he knows it, brown eyes glancing at the table in front of him. ]
Yeah, if you don't mind being woken up every hour. Or, more. [ Of course he wants to stay, but the anxiety roils up and tumbles out of his lips, hurt eyes sliding along the floor. ] And if the, uh, demon thing happens again, I'm gone. [ Because, 110%, he will not stay around Steve while he still has any willpower to decide where to go whilst incubus-ing it up. Thankfully, the transformations are finished and will not resurface, but Eddie doesn't know that.

He breathes in sharply. ]
I wanna stay with you, Steve. [ Because only seconds before, he knows he'd been a sarcastic ass, already regretting that. ]
notscary: (staring to the side)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-10 11:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie's eyes are wide, expression strained, silently saying that he hardly thinks he's really going to be okay any time soon. There's a frown, realizing that he'd interrupted the food making, its eating, but he quickly knows that neither of them have an appetite now. So, he nods about the food being there, giving a soft 'thanks.'

His eyes had drifted away, but he looks over to Steve again when that is prompted. There's a frown on his lips too, brows knitting. ]
Now? It's 4, Steve. I can just...try to lay down. [ Though, he's already standing, waiting on his friend to make the first steps to his bedroom. Clearly he's torn about basically anything that comes out of his mouth, the fatigue getting to him. ]
notscary: (lost)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-12 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie frowns at Steve. Man, it's annoying that this guy is 100% correct with that single statement. He softly sighs, stuttering it out. Yeah, he is tired, if he's actually getting frustrated at Steve for pointing out the obvious, when it's clear the other only wants to help.

Still, he gives another sigh, annoyed that it's his first reaction, but Steve's off and heading to his bedroom. Face faltering even more, he hurries up after him, a bundle of anxiety and nerves, panic itching to set in.

He steps into the room, shoulders actually easing a bit at the familiarity. His eyes settle on Steve's bed, a languid blink before he glances over to his friend. ]
You're gonna...lay down with me? [ Look, he's tired, and still not really expecting that. But he also doesn't expect Steve to just hang out off the bed. And so help him, his voice is more strained, eyes more than a touch desperate for him to say yes, to that. As if it isn't already clear what Steve intends.

He hesitates, just sort of shifting his foot back and forth on the floor, blinking and looking back at the bed. ]
notscary: (peer)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-15 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ There's no navigating this for Eddie, no matters its simplicity.

Eddie gives an unsure look to the bed, for no other reason than general hesitance seeming to live in his veins for the moment, scratching his neck. The touch to his arm makes his face turn to Steve, and he slowly nods once. ]
Okay.

[ He steps ahead first, hesitating at the edge of the bed before he takes his jeans off, sort of half-folding them before he gingerly drops them on the floor. Blanket being pulled back, he peers over at his friend ] Thanks. [ And he's slipping in, going into an awkward sort of start to a curl, facing the middle of the bed, body still tense but it does always feel comforting to be in Steve's bed, at least. ]
notscary: (staring to the side)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-18 07:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie's let his gaze settle over the sheets and pillow, safe and secure in Steve's room, so he tries to let himself ease back into all of the times he's felt that way before.

He doesn't look to see how Steve gets into the bed, breath sharp when he feels an arm go around him. It's really, really nice though, and the physical contact is exactly what he needs to not fray further.

Eddie doesn't remember the last time he's cuddled like this with someone, so it's comforting but at least a touch unfamiliar, with Steve even more so. He shuts his eyes, toes curling, breathing in and holding his breath when Steve speaks. He isn't even sure if he'd expected anything like that, or if his friend was going to stay there to be a presence while he tried to fall asleep.

He finally breathes out, head wanting to nod but not. Instead Eddie shifts to tuck himself in closer against Steve, letting his bottom curve in so there's no space between them, a foot moving to slightly hook against one of Steve's. He takes the hand of Steve's arm that's around him, curling the other's fingers so they wrap around his own hand, wanting to keep himself as attached as he could be.

He waits several seconds before speaking, breathing in and out, heartbeat steadying out. ]
Yeah. Being with you makes it better. [ His eyes shut again, head nestling into his pillow. ] But...you don't have to go through it alone either. [ Because above it all, he's going to center right back around to wanting to be there for Steve too, even if he's the one who's been in more dire straits of late. ]
notscary: (eyes cast down)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-23 08:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ Tucking into Steve, comfortable and easing into his bed the longer they're laying down, does feel like the safest harbor Eddie has been in for days. Maybe since he'd come to the city, perhaps even before in Hawkins. He trudges through a lot alone, isn't used to this sort of affection and compassion, easing into it like a thirst being sated.

His breathing is steady, former panic finally gone, as he listens. There's a little sad smile: he knows what it's like learning how to cope through the harder days. His head faintly nods. ]
Yeah. It's. Well. It's the best, Steve. It's...what I needed.

[ His eyes shut, yawn interrupting the quiet pause he could've been making. ] Just, don't know what anyone gets from me reliving that. Seeing her die. It...doesn't make sense, man. [ His voice is a touch shakier and his chest tightens, but he's able to say the words without breaking down, cuddled up to Steve and staying tightly there. ]
notscary: (spacing)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-06-24 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie had hesitated on reaching out to anyone once Kalecgos had flown him out of the forest and went back to the Down's motel with him. He'd gone on a walk to get away from everyone, ending up at the Solace Tree (which, worst name ever considering the (uncustomary) effect it had on him) before locking himself in his room. When sleep wouldn't hold without nightmares, his fingers had rushed to finally text Steve. There's really no one else he would've wanted to go, could trust with how heavy he feels.

He's able to slowly compartmentalize the harder parts again, slipping recent and past memories into their boxes again, now that he can breathe with Steve's arm around him. There's no room to think about if there's more between them, not while he's as fatigued as he is. And really, he's not had much room to ever really contemplate if there's more between anyone else and himself.

His breath comes out a little shaky with Steve's direct answer. He agrees with it, smile tugging at his lips with the compassion. He's not sure how he ever thought Steve could be anything other than a good guy, not even when he was a dickish, more immature version of himself. Not like Eddie's always a ray of sunshine: plus, jocks are the kids he's been the most loud and obnoxious to, really.

That warmth building in his chest, he shifts to look at Steve over his shoulder, leaning in awkwardly and suddenly, planting a quick kiss on his lips. Best as he can, with the awkward angle. And he's looking back over the bed again right away, nothing suggestive or sexual about it. He'd wanted to do it, appreciating Steve for all he says and does. ]
No, we don't. But at least neither of us are alone. I'm glad, that we have each other.

[ Because he really doesn't think he could survive the way he's felt that day without someone who provides so safe a space as Steve does. ]
notscary: (quiet)

[personal profile] notscary 2023-07-02 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ Eddie doesn't overthink, he rushes forward with what feels right and good. In this case, he's still a bundle of nerves and anxiety that's held together only by Steve's arm around him, the warmth they build centering him. Those all too familiar sheets and linens, soft pillows and the rise and fall of Steve's breathing. The kiss felt natural, necessary as it shot out of him, lips and brain on the same wavelength of needing to deliver the gesture.

A breath, shallow and deep from his throat, rolls up and into his mouth, forming a small sound of relief and satisfaction when Steve pulls him closer.

He hums a faint laugh at 'shitty,' pressing in against Steve, eyes shutting with a roll of his head where it rested. ]
Not remembering, it's okay. Think I played catch up pretty okay. [ A yawn, another little push back toward Steve, wanting to be as confident as possible that there was no room between them, that he was as close as he could get before falling asleep. ]

Guess someone thought we should both be here, huh? [ Another shorter yawn.

A faint hum, and Eddie's breathing starts to even out, hand under Steve's growing limper as he drifts off to sleep. ]